The Purple View

Reviews, rants and purpleness

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Whats So Good About Half-Life?: Introduction

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on February 2, 2009

Ah, here we go. Been looking foward to writing this, well that’s a surprise. This ain’t exactly your normal rant, 5 grumbling weeks of grumbling and ranting ain’t gonna be pretty. Every Friday for the next month and a bit. So sit back and enjoy this bit while you can.

The Half Life series has always been critically acclaimed, but whats so good about running through generic corridors, shooting generic zombies and… welll… better not rant away too much now :P. But this is just the introduction, to show you were Half-Life started and to set the wheels of Purple rant in motion.

So let’s start where all things start. A cheeseburger.


I can’t believe you haven’t guessed how many obesity jokes will be in this thing, seriously, Gabe freakin’ Newell made Half-Life what it is, and he is probably one of most ignorarant people in the industry. He believes that a console is ”a waste of everybody’s time” , just becsause he can’t program for it, he believes the he is a ”microsoft millionaire” while Doug Lombourdi shunks away at the next TF2 update.   

He apparently went with microsoft for 13 years, fucked off and then co-founded Valve with whoever wanted to be his friend at that time. I bet he got bullied at scool for his weight, and he’s just ignoring the most popular console brand because he doesn’t like big people, he blames bandwith, we blame him – simple as that.

Most of the time during these things, I’ll talk about the people behind them, some good, some bad and some downright ugly… like this guy… in other words – I’ll copy and paste a few things from Wikipediaand then put a giant picture of Gabe Newell at McDonalds or something. Now bedn ovar.   

Align Centre   

The first Half-Life launched in 1998, and it was immeadietly rewarded Game of the year… because apparently there weren’t that many FPSs at the time that were rewarding players with a sense of achivement… or zombies… coug duke nukem cough cough doom cough cough. I’ll go into more detail about this later on in the series.   

Te only thing you need to know is… better than 2 but only at the point of time it wuz released. If yer getcha what I mean? I’lll still nickpick till it’s scalp bleeds though, don’tchu worry , mah ranting ain’t flailed yet. Valve marketed this thing to hell, and modded it to hell too. 3 expansions later and it’s the king of… mediocracy.


Hundreds of delays and bays later, alf-Life 2 landed on our shores. With ‘next-gen graphics’ and ‘superior AI’… this all seems old now. All of it’s expansions use the same engine, physics and generic shooting. I feel like I played Half-life 2 all over again, in Episode 2… but more outdoors… and in Episode 1 it was just confinded and unfun. I’ll go into more detail next week… 

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