The Purple View

Reviews, rants and purpleness

Resident Evil 5 Demo Impressions

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on February 4, 2009

Well, you could probably hang me and such – but I’ve never played a Resident Evil before it. Not ‘cos I’m a wuss or anything, but it just doesn’t scare me – now the Silent Hill series is what makes you shit in your pants! Actually, I don’t play them much either anymore… seems the whole of horror has degenerated to cutting peoples hands off and making us feel scared of our actual internal organs… hmmm… nice.

Anyway, I downloaded the bitch… after 3 hours , godamn PSN, and I just went in with zero expectations… and came out with none. Lets just get the plot straight: Your some guy in Africa and everyone’s infected with this slug or bug or virus or sexual disease… which is kinda funny ‘cos ummmm… okay joke aborted. Anyway, it’s L2 + R1 to use your knife, L1 and R1 to fire, use triangle to access your inventory (which stops you from moving), square or circle to pick things up, X to run or reload, L3 to do something and square and triangle to probably make a bacon sandwhich – the controls are everywhere! This is what the first hurdle is – sticky controls.

So your in the game, your running and then… well it goes boring – you have to STOP and shoot, which people in RE4 called “Omg wickid awesome.”… how is it? This is the same one as RE4 and I see nothing fun about it, sure it’s realistic… but I’d take Team Fortress 2 or Psychonauts over this, who the fuck came up with the bright idea that you stop, fiddley aim and shoot. Even after you land a shot, thats the ONLY time you can do a punch or uppercut on the zombie.

Level design is clunky and the visuals are just Far Cry 2 C+Ped… d’ya know what, fuck it I’m deleting this bitch right now!


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