The Purple View

Reviews, rants and purpleness

Horror Hurrah?

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on March 13, 2009

Good evenin’ folks, and welcome to a little beyond the sea of tributes and video-games. This is my little horror movie rant, featuring me of course and the little thing known as SAW. Yes, I had to pick one modern film franchise to pick to pieces, and what else could I use as an example? The Hostel series is fleshing out, but SAW is just about the best example I can think of – not because of gurghlefoo!?!! but because of the length it’s actually survived.

Also featuring Morgan Freeman

Also featuring Morgan Freeman

So, the SAW series…. it all started in 2004 when some bloke called James Wan decided “the horror genre is teh suck”, so they all wanted to revamp it. Well, to put it quite bluntly, the next five things that would come out of it – were copies of the original. All it is, generally, is a couple of actors playing wooden puppets who get their hands or limbs chopped off. This is supposed to bet the horror genre, amirite? So why the fuck do we have to resort to gore?

Gore isn’t scary at all, it’s just gross, scary is suspense and just general build-up. You can chop off someone’s arm, stick it in a bag full of maggots and get a view vomits or ‘room-leavers’, but it’s not scary. But if you show someone tied to a chair, with somehow their blood dripping out drip by drip – in a rythmic sound – for over half an hour, that’s godamn suspense. Startling on the other hand, like a axe suddenly flies into the room and kills everyone, isn’t scary either – it just says “look at that over there” while something unpredictable happens.

 

Its a dick in a box

It's a dick in a box

 

 

So, what does the SAW franchise have to do with it being a bad horror genre nowadays? Well, for starters, I’ve seen a fade in genre taste of video-games, comic books and now it’s movies. The comedy genre is cluttered with wannabe Meet the Spartans, the action genre is quickly filling up into a “LETS BE SRS” and now the horror genre is just saying “BLUD IS SCARY LUL”. SAW has grossed over $600 million worldwide, it’s the most celebrated horror franchise of the decade so far and now there’s a part VI coming out, it’s a bit silly. Even reviewers hate them

To start with, ALL, and by ALL, I mean SAW one, two, three, four and five have never scored even over 50% on Rottentomatoes. Saw IV even managed to get 0% in the Cream of the crop. The latest entry, SAW V, only managed 12% of positive criticism… but it grossed over $100 million with a budget of $10 mil… I don’t know about you but either people are losing taste in horror, or they’re not seeing it for the horror. I hate to be a godamn hater on this stuff, I’ve seen all of them and they’re not that bad, but it is just about the only franchise I can take apart and say “yep, this is what I think”.

 

After 3 weeks of tuning, Lisas braces were finally ready to be removed

After 3 weeks of tuning, Lisa's braces were finally ready to be removed

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