The Purple View

Reviews, rants and purpleness

This Gun Is The Best Gun Ever! Part Six

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on March 27, 2009


I was thinking of something to suprise everyone, right out of the blue and finishes the series on a high-note. So I looked to the FPS gods, and I saw what I had to do. Praying to the legends and gamers alike, I took a solemn promised and now deliever upon that, for now you’re looking into the heart of tributes. The very fabric of tribut…ation? Oh fuck it, not really a good illusion is it? You fucking morons know more about sex than FPS shooters, so thats why I’ve decided to rip and tear, and really finish this series in my own way. So that’s why this is a godamn motherfucking tribute to TIMESPLITTERS!

So what can I say about Timesplitters? The first is forgotten, the second made a mark on FPS history and the third was alright… But this is (as I’ve already said) the series that made this series. Everything Timesplitters was made by the now sorta dead Free Radical, but it’s nice to know that TS4 will be in our hands soon. Until then, let’s get all nostalgic shall we? Timesplitters is probably one of the greatest FPS series in any plays minds, but it’s also got a tendency to just have been completely forgotten – which we all have good reason to since the last entry was made 5 years ago.

Timesplitters played a huge part in the multiplayer world, especially on the consoles, and had a really advanced map editor. It’s probably one of the most celebrated multiplayers too, since it’s combination with the whole asbsurd feel just about ‘rocked da box’. I think the Timesplitters franchise just about eats away all the other shooters in terms of multiplayer, and to be honest, it is one of the greatest franchises ever created. The multiplayer is fast and intense, the single player campaign has more laughs than an international “Live at the Apollo” and the gameplay is just stunning.

So, the whole plot… don’t need one. I didn’t take much notice and neither should you. Because generally, it’s one of the funniest and tounge in cheek things ever. I may even take the step out of the line and say it’s just about the funniest FPS ever! Now, Half-life had its moments, Bioshock had the most twisted sense of humour ever and Portal takes some of the cake – but when you’re a bald man sent from the future, to save the past by cleaning out the near past, then perfecting the past and present – then… HAHAHAHA MONKEY OMG LOLOLOLOL!

Some of you may notice I’m not making much positive back up, or any points. But I don’t need to, Timesplitters is just that awesome, the whole set of 1-3 is pure gold and even though TS4 has a chance of sucking (Free Rad kinda fucked something up) I don’t care. Because these games are what they are – legends in their own sense. If Timesplitters 4 manages to live up to the series, then it’ll go down in my books: until then, a merry berry christmas and a happy new suck my dick holidays! Happy easter too kids!

Thats it folks, a whole series now finished. The franchises supplement may have lasted one article, but maybe expect another in that line. FPSs mean a lot to me and my gamerhood, and I do hope you appreciate them as much as I do. Which reminds me, be sure to write your most loved FPS down in the comment box below: as I’d love to see what to put on to future articles! Who knows, you might start off a nostalgic chain reaction and melt me down… please don’t! I’ll see you fucking morons laters.


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