The Purple View

Reviews, rants and purpleness

Chinatown Wars Review (GUEST REVIEW BY RFANKEI GMEBAL!)

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on April 24, 2009

farnkie gbmel

So this game is like the old GTA where it’s a top down view and you just sorta see the dude’s feet moving about and his head bobbing a little.

It plays like GTA in all senses; you go around and break the law for lulz. GTA is the only game where I feel that it’s the reverse of the usual freedom feeling. In games that give you freedom people love to abuse it of course. Fallout 3 you kill everyone and then reload the game because its fun.. then you realise that was good now I will get back to playing the normal game. And in sims you make a family and like drown them and stuff LKLOLOLOL but in GTA I like to be like “ OMG I WILL DRIVE PROPERLY !!! LAWLWUT OPS RED LIGHT I WILL STOP!! “ because in the game your supposed to do bad ..

This GTA has some cool new features such as the drug dealing feature which is a nice way to spend your time rather than actually playing this game because it means you can earn LOTSA MONEY which has no use in this game except for buying MORE DRUGS which means you can earn LOTS MORE MONEY and then buy a new house which you can SAVE in.

There is not a great range of weapons but there is not really a need; you have the cliché weapons of all the games.

A PISTOL!!! FOR SHOOTING AND HAVING A START WEAPONS

A SHOTGUN!!! FOR SHOOTING IN 3 DIRECTIONS AT ONCE!!!

AN UZI!! FOR SHOOTING FUCKING FAST

A CARBINE!! FOR SHOOTING FUCKING FASTER

A MINIGUN!! FOR SHOOTING EVEN FASTER FASTER

FLAME THROWER!! FOR BURNING SHIT

GRENADSE!! FOR BLOWING UP !! also molotovs for burning up and flash bangs for lighting up and mines for I durno; never found a use for em.

AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF MELEE INCLUDING POLICE STICKS, CHAINSAW, BASEBALL BAT

there a few variations on these weapons like 2 PISTOLS and A SHORTER SHOTGUN!!!!

It has the same cars you find in the other games and even motorbikes. But no helicoptors 😦 I never found out if there is tanks.

You play as a chinese dude who comes to America thinking he is gonna live a goodlife as his cousin told him he would.. ( I think I heard this story somewhere before? ) he is delivering his dead fathers sword but then it goes wrong 😦 and you spend the game getting it back and talking to gangsters and doing silly missions like racing cars and cheating on these races.

My favourite thing about this game is the police system; its similar to others where you get stars and then more police are chasing you but rather than having zones or random spawning ones coming from nowhere you actually have to lose them; so say you have 3 stars thats 3 police cars on your tail and you have to lose that; so you smash them into stuff and then you lose them and then once you have lost all 3 then you can lay low and lose them all; or you can try to just lose them all anyway but thats quite hard ! D:

The game feels very large and has lots of details too it, it just about comes full circle to GTA and I even feel old playing it. MAYBE BANANAHS WILL ACTUALLY PAY ME FOR THIS REVIEW, THE CHEAP FUCK.

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