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Archive for the ‘Journey To The Centre Of Video-Game Movie Adaptations!’ Category

My series of the video-game movie adaptations reviews and rants, some pretty nifty stuff here: all from my blogspot times. Be sure to check out how dry in humour I can be… heh heh..

Journey To The Centre Of Video Game Movie Adaptations!: Part Three

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on February 2, 2009

Yes, I lied, now don’t be like ‘Purple you devil!, how dare you!’. Because I thought this thing needed a bit of a bigger conclusion, instead of 10 games and a little bit at the end, it’s 3 god awful games and a big long ranting conclusion thing. Let’s get started shall we? Platforms: Nintendo 64

Superman 64 

Platforms: Nintendo 64

Now, let’s start off with quite possibly, the worst movie game ever. It’s not technically a game based off a movie, but who cares, let’s just get to the bottom of the **** pile. The only actual words that I can think of to criticise this thing is ‘stay away’, honestly, if there is any games which are more frustating than this, I want to know, if there are any games that actually ridicule the player, I want to know, if there are any games that are WORSER than this thing, I want to know.

There really is no gameplay value to this at all, there are some punching and real superman action later on, but I didn’t even want to get past the godamn ring section. You have just 2 minutes to fly through rings… rings…? Superman doesn’t fly through rings, he picks ’em up and beats the crap out of Lexxy with them! This is probably the most unimaginitive, ridiculing game I’ve ever played, could even be the worst ever game.


Platforms : Atari 2600

When you first start this game, you obviously know it’s gonna be bad… really bad, and do you know what? Your wrong, this game is a freakin’ masterpiece! OF **** THAT IS. You control E.T and go around areas as slow as a retarded snail (The Heavy in Team Fortress 2 is even faster than the godamn alien) In fact, I don’t even know why to give this ‘masterpiece’ a 2nd paragraph, it just doesn’t deserve it. Not the worst game I’ve ever played, but deffo up there with… some others…

Spongebob Squarepants : The Movie : The Game

Platforms: PS2, Gamecube, Xbox, GBA

And so we end this ****storm with the most confusing title of them all. When I found this buried beneath countless awesome platinum titles, it still had the price tag on it – £30, 30 godamn british moneys wasted on something which I couldn’t even stand for one hour. In fact I think I only got it because it had Spongebob on the front… but anyway… have you ever heard of a video game based on a movie, having the ACTUAL title of the movie… like say ”Hitman : The Movie” (in the USA) or ”The Simpsons Movie”?, well there’s a Simpsons game but godamnit it’s not called ”The Simpsons Movie Game”.

Honestly, look at the screentshot… these are during the PS2’s last ‘golden days’ before the flood of crappy TV based titles and the last awesome titles, the days when the online world was only just beginning and the days that would be remembered for all time. I actually had a good look at the box and it even said on the said ”The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”, I bet kids bought it because it had that on the front to be honest… like me!


Video-games based on movies have changed a lot over the past few years, but most are still just there to make a quick buck over a cheap liscence. There have been some golden gems and some actual abomonations which give the whole genre a stinking name. I’m quite a buyer in movie based games and most of the time, I have to take a while to appreciate them. Most are usually made with the ”kiddish” auidience in mind, but stuff like King Kong seems to always turn out… better… but that’s not to say more ‘Adult’ films are better games, just take a look at Transformers…

The acutal genre of movie games has really earned a name for itself, but a bad one. ”Childish, terrible, unimaginitive, ****”, but if you really sift through the pile of cheap lisences, EA games and other knock-offs, you can find some real gems of creativity and gameplay. So that’s why I want to turn your attention now, to HOW TO MAKE A REAL MOVIE BASED VIDEOGAME, using just one simple rule, if the devs follow this then they’ve got a ‘enjoyable-awesome’ game on their hands.


Honestly, I’m sick and tired of this ”explore new locations not found in the movie!” bullcrap, ”experince the life of Griffen in an adventure not found in the movie!” dogpollap and the godawful imaginitive ”see new and fantastic characters NOT FOUND IN THE MOVIE.”, well developers, why did you begin to make the actual game huh? To make a quick buck is the obvious answer, but if your gonna do that, at least LET US KNOW THAT IT IS AN ACTUAL VIDEO GAME BASED ON THE MOVIE. Video-games of movies are supposed to be OF MOVIES, not of some simplistic childish side-story.

The lego games are a great example of this, not some fancy side-story shizdabab, but visiting all the locations of the film and giving it an orginal quality to it. Although they try to marry two things together – LEGO and movies, they are still a great example of what the genre is capable of. I do wish one day for another movie video game to actually put you in the shoes of at least ONE of the main characters and show you the movie, not some made-on-the-spot bull****




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Journey To The Centre Of Video Game Movie Adaptations!: Part Two

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on February 2, 2009

So here we go again, part two and probably the final part of my look into games that are based around movies. I was surprisingly positive about a lot of the stuff I posted, but today I’m gonna slaughter nearly everything today, even though you won’t agree with me :D. So let’s start at the bottom of the bargin bin shall we?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner Of Azkaban

Platforms : PC, GBA, Xbox, PS2, Gamecube

Let’s start off a little lighter than expected… this little gem is a great example of how video games based on movies, can be done right. The basic rule of a video game movie thing is to throw you into the shoes of the main character and carve your own path through the main storyline, not go off on wild adventures on ‘exclusive not seen in the movie’ locations with a side-character with less personality than a cheeseburger with cheese…

One of the main things which shocked me when playing this game was the graphics. On the Xbox they looked almost next-gen, with the realistic faces, the water texture and the whole feel of flying through the air on Buckbeak (I think it’s called that). The whole gameplay didn’t feel left out either, with seperate characters aquring unique skills which you would have to use to progress. A really shining example of how a movie game can keep it’s story but still venture out to be a gaming gem.


Platforms: X360, PS3, PC, Wii, DS , PSP, PS2, Mac

This is a hard one to justify. The gameplay is really iffy and the controls take ages to get used to, once you get to EVE then the game just becomes a kiddy boring adventure, which even younger players will find horribly boring. All you do really is get some power device to plug into some other device and make cubes to throw at stuff and progress to the next part. It’s not a horrible game or a great game, it’s iffy.

Now don’t get me wrong but a game with iffy gameplay, iffy graphics and just some sort ‘one way foward’ rule, doesn’t that sound horrible average? But then again a lot of new movie games are taking this up just to make a quick buck, and it probably won’t go away, the likes of Beowulf and Wall-E cash in on this and sell almost a million, because they are open to every single bloody platform known to man. It’s just a way for studios to cash in on big releases, and it’s not gonna stop.

Iron Man
Platforms : X360, PS3, PC, Wii, DS , PSP, PS2, Mac, Mobile
Here’s another platform chewing monster kids, but this ain’t half bad… it’s sort of like Spider-Man with a jetpack but some quite limited enviroments. The game chucks you into the mission area, gives you a shopping list, some customisation which has no meaning and gives you some super-powers to make it worthwhile. Now I’ll be honest with you, the flying in this game is really the only reason you’d buy this, and it’s the reason you have to buy this.

Now, lets just get one thing straight, the controls are god awful and not meant for awesomewinsauce flying at all… 40% of the time when you want to fly, a helicopter or magical missle comes and pops you to bits. But on those rare occassions, you can hold down a magical button and blur off into the sunset, and admire the vista below. It’s probably one of my most hated games but I still have reasons for putting it up here.

Lego Indiana Jones : The Video Game (and the LEGO series in general)

Platforms : X360, PC, PS3, PS2, PSP, DS, Mac, every godamn machine known to man!

I like this. I like games that throw you into the shoes of a now 63 year old actor and say ”go indy.” But I still have quite a few complaints. First off, the AI is great when the puzzles whip out (pun intended), but in combat they just get in your way and provide you with as much use as a goat, can only be used for certain things and when it’s forced to put up it’s fists, it just bahs at you and make you explode in bricks to get past the nazees.

Now mind you, this game is fun. It’s what a video game movie should be and it’s much more fun when played with friends, but I think we’re sort of missing the point with the LEGO game franchise, I love exploding into bricks as I chop Darth Vader up into bits and I can’t get enough of the boulder scene from Indy, played out in brick format. But I honestly think, if this game was longer, not made from LEGO and was developed by a larger and respected company, it’d be the greatest movie video game efur.

The Simpsons Game
Platforms: I’m not even gonna bother this time, just guess which ones it’s on and your probably right.

So once again, we get another Simpsons title from EA… only this time it’s… great? Wait.. did I just type that? BAD PURPLE BAD! The game centres around a parodic sense of other big strong video-game franchies – Medal Of Honour, Katamari and Zelda for some, but it adds the series trademark humour and it all appears… godamn fun. Co-op is sort of limited because… for instance… the only thing that Homer can do in the Giant Lard Lad level, is grow into a fat ball and annoy/ lure the fat thing. But he can’t finish the level on his own, so you might aswell ignore him or let your buddy sit in a corner and play Mario or something.

I’m still glad to have finally found an actually funny simpsons game, although it’s not laugh out loud comedy, it still brings more chuckles than even the new episodes. I would say, give it a try, the platforming bits can spoil it but it’s still a very fun and if your a simpsons fan, you’ve probavly already bought it, finished it, got 1000 GS and are now writing a very naughty comment on my blog.

The Movies

Platforms : PC, 360 & PS3 (rumoured)

Now when I played this on my computer, which could barely take it, I sort of found this to be one of the most creative and radical games I’ve ever played, sure it’s not based off a movie, but it’s based off the movie culture. This was one of the best ideas from Lionhead Studios (to which is developing Fable 2, and the rumoured 360 and PS3 editions of the game) and it still has the orginal website and fan uploading site still running after at least 4 years.

Now just from the image above, it does look slightly daunting, having to balance your actor’s needs, star power, scripts, script management, director hiring, food sales etc. it does get to your head and thats why I think a more complicated tutorial would’ve saved The Movies from the horrible sales that it made, then again, the specs it needed at the time were so big that I think it only sold half a million.. and thats from Lionhead studios.


So… we reach the end of the journey to the centre of video-game movie adaptations! I would like to close with one game in particular which I think could be the next big video-game movie adaptation, just look at the video to just see how brilliant the game is looking.

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Journey To The Centre Of Video-Game Movie Adaptations!: Part One

Posted by Nathan Hardisty on February 2, 2009


Hello and welcome to this little article that I myself have written. It delves deep into the heart of video game adaptations of movies. Over the course of two days I will look at more than 20 memorable titles of the past 3 years. I have searched Wikipedia for hours and read a billion reviews from my 2 year old PS2 mags, so let’s kick things off shall we?
Peter Jackson’s King Kong : The Official Game of the Movie

Platforms : PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, Xbox 360, PSP, Nintendo DS, GBA, PC 

Now, you may think ”Purple you crafty devil, how can it be there?!”, when I say that this is my favourite movie video-game adaptation ever. Now it plays much like any other FPS, but with quite a few twists. For instance, weaponary and ammo are seriously limited and you must use the enviroment to your advantage at all times, or else you’ll end up as dinosaur meat. There is also no HUD whastoever, all damage is seen on screen as the screen turns red and bloodier, this was the first time I had seen this being use and it seemed very radical at the time.
One of the coolest things about this game was the food chain, there were insects, dinosaurs, T-Rexes, humans and crabs all involved in this thing. You could really use it to your advantage, a really clever game mechanic has not being repeated has far as I know… but it just goes to show, the deadliest weapon in the whole universe, is the universe itself. The graphics were top notch for it’s time too and although the 360 version got a few complaints for being too dark, twas still an epic journey.
The (Recent) Incredible Hulk Games
Platforms : Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2, Xbox, PC , Gamecube, DS 

The Hulk video game series has always being mehful… they always seem to miss the point of the actual Hulk – smash, dash and mash. But they chuck in either a one-way story, limited area or powers or a delicate game engine. I actually liked the first Hulk game – ”Hulk” , since it was just fun, the graphics were comic-y and the whole stealth gameplay seemed kinda nice. The second Hulk game was, tremendously awesome. I could go anywhere, smash anything and pulverise whole buildings if I wanted to… but you got really limited by the enviroments – a city or the dust plains… CHOOSE NOW! The missions were out of wack too, seriously hard and if anyone got past the last boss on Hard then they are either god or the actual Hulk.

The recent Hulk game, based off the recent action pumped but story lacking movie, was atrocious. The main thing you want to do in a Hulk game is just punch and mash anything in the game world, but this time… the moment you got even 3 metres away from a car, it just exploded. When I was playing around with it at a friends house, I picked up a civilian and decided to take him above the skies, we eventually came to the park and I threw him into a tree… the tree just snapped… so did the tree behind it… so did the tree behind that one.
I hope that one day I can just hop around a large game world, destroy anything I want without feeling like I could touch a building with my finger and it would crumble. What I would want the most though, is more freedom, just like Crackdown, I loved being able to do the missions whenever I want and jump out of them and wreck the nearby hospital with a rocket launcher… or some fists with the green man’s case.

Enter The Matrix

Platforms : PC, PS2, Xbox, Gamecube

Now I’m gonna be honest with you… I liked Enter The Matrix. The main critics and basically 3/4 of all who played it, wanted it to burn in hell. But I ignored the fact that the controls were buggared, bullet time was too slow and lacking in the ‘wow’ factor, the guns and targerting system were unfinished and the whole level design seemed to be crafted by the devil himself. The reason I forgived this apparent ‘piece of dog poopy’ is the fact that it’s enjoyable.
Now I don’t know about you but, sailing through the air, with time slowling down and yourself firing cold iron into the chests of many security… doesn’t that seem freckin’ awesome? It’s sequences like these that made me keep playing and eventually… forgiving this game. The whole gameplay mechanic was horrible put together but it was still a very good piece of action, any action is good action as long as you understand it. Enter The Matrix scored 3/10 from most main publishers and was sent to the halls of ‘worst game ever’ by the public… but I’m fair with all games and I can’t say you’ll enjoy it, but give it a try and it might just grow on you.

Star Wars Bounty Hunter
Platforms : PC, PS2, Gamecube

Now burn me at the stake, set fire to my house or send a billion tough guys to pulp me up, but this game is and always has been, my best star wars game ever. Now take a moment to take in what I just said and now babble to yourself on how Purple just lost his mind, but… now take a moment to figure out, why Purple is right. Now, let’s begin my long and hard rant about this pile of underappreciated crap.
So let’s start… it was said that his game has some of the worst level design and clunkiest controls ever created… but controls can be changed and level design doesn’t count when you have a freckin’ jetpack. There was so many ways and weapons you could use to get from point A to B, you were eventually caught if you used stealth, but while it lasted… it felt almost as sweet as hitman. The weapon and targerting system worked great for me, bad for everyone else, I could just hold down the left trigger and hammer away, while sprays of red sparks flew into my opponent. It felt comfortable and forgiving of the wacked out story and horrible dialouge and soundtrack. Give it a try, might grow on your like ETM.

Spider-Man 2

Platforms: Gamecube, PC, PS2, PSP, GBA, Xbox, N-Gage, DS

This is the best Spider-man game ever made. Now Spider-Man 3 improves on the main game of 2, but this was always the biggest leap in freedom gaming. The narrator and soundtrack was well thought and put together, the civilian saving was entirely optional and felt like you could always get a challenge every 5 minutes, but that was completely of your choice. The main thing that I have enjoyed in the recent Spider-Man games and this one is the webslinging.

You could be swinging down a never-ending street and you would never get bored. You could climb onto the buildings, scale high atop the rooftops and then dive down into the urban sea below… just before you eat the tarmac you can let out a spray of web and kick your feet at the sky, that is the point of Spiderman. Add this to some enjoyable missions and a map the size of half of San Andreas, it was a revolution in superhero gaming.
Transformers: The Game
Platforms : PC, X360, PS2, PS3, PSP, DS, Wii 

When the word ‘Transformers’ comes to mind, you think of huge towering beasts of metal that can transform into cars, have huge rayguns and absolute freedom to do whatever the hell they want. You do not think of ‘trapped in a city and can do the main quest whenever they want’ and ‘destruction is baaad, limited and seriously broken’ or ‘the metal giants are actually just humans on stilts with M4-Carbines… inside a cardboard robot suit’. All you do really in this game is run away from anything because the aiming can bounce from one enemy to the other and you don’t take that much damage anyway.

What seriously bugs me about this thing, is there is no tutorial, it’s like throwing you into a lake of crocodiles and say ‘Have fun!’. But your basically just tripping over cars and buildings and end up getting the whole army after you, kinda like GTA… even when your cruising in your car and not even shooting anything, there’s always some robots (which make no sense because the Decepticons came alone) to bug you into hitting other cars and getting in trouble and eventually killed… like GTA… avoid this at all costs and if you like this game, burn in hell…

Goldeneye N64


Platforms : Nintendo 64, XBLA (rumoured) 

Now I’ll be honest with you, it’s one of the best games I have ever played. This was one of the most defining games of the starting FPS genre, it made the whole genre what it is today and is really the only stand-out Bond game of them all. I have enjoyed and played through this game at least 8 times, and it never gets boring. The level design and AI are just right and not too challenging, the actual FPS is quite clunky in controls and I hope the rumoured XBLA versioned will up the visuals a tad bit… but all I can say is, bring it on… make me buy a 360!

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